Eternity

How to record your parents telling family stories

You need a phone, a quiet room and one good question. You don’t need an app or a microphone. These are the steps that make the recording worth keeping.

  1. Ask them first

    Say what it is for: “I’d like to record you telling this, so the kids can hear it one day.” Ask if they’re fine with being recorded. Most people relax once they know why.

  2. Pick a quiet room

    A table at home works well. Turn off the TV, the radio and the extractor fan. Soft things in the room, like curtains and a sofa, help with the echo.

  3. Put the phone close

    Any phone’s voice recorder is enough. Even a WhatsApp voice message to yourself is great! Put it on the table, about an arm’s length away or less, on a folded towel so it doesn’t pick up every bump. Turn on Do Not Disturb, so a call doesn’t stop the recording.

  4. Record a short test

    Record ten seconds of them talking and listen back. It’s much easier to move the phone now than to wish you had later.

  5. Say who and when

    Start with the date, the place and who is in the room. In thirty years, nobody will know this from the file name.

  6. Ask one specific question

    “Tell me about your childhood” is too big. “What could you see from your bedroom window?” gives them a room to walk into, and the stories come from there.

  7. Then be quiet

    When they stop, count to five before you say anything. People often say the real thing after the pause. Save your own stories for later, because the recording is for their voice.

  8. Follow the small details

    “Who else was there?” “What did she say then?” “Where was that?” Short questions like these keep them talking. They also bring out the names and places you’d never think to ask about.

  9. Stop before they’re tired

    Ten to twenty minutes is a good first session. If it goes well, they’ll want to do it again, and the second time is usually better.

  10. Save it right away

    Name the file with the person, the date and the subject. Then keep a copy in at least two places, for example on your computer and in a cloud account. A file that lives on one phone is one lost phone away from gone.

Not sure what to ask? Here are questions to start with

Eternity is an iPhone app that keeps these recordings together, with one star for each person in your family. It is coming soon. Join the waitlist